20180825

Sat Aug 25 10:33:35 EDT 2018 Slept from one to nine. Woke briefly around five. Rain. High of seventy-eight. Goals: - Install Go 1.11 Done. - Continue notes about Go modules Done. https://paulgorman.org/technical/golang-modules-and-packages.txt.html The Grandmaster of Kung Fu Films: Lau Kar-leung | HOW TO SEE Martial Arts Films https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gwn9633YIrQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9OCA6UFE-0 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism#Ethics_and_virtues In Stoicism, living according to the four cardinal virtues means reducing suffering by accepting logos — the way things are in the universe. - wisdom, navigate complexities with logic and calm poise - courage, in extraordinary but also ordinary, daily situations — integrity - justice, treat everyone fairly, even when they're wrong (tolerance?) - temperance, all things in moderation, exercise of self-restraint > Sometimes, even to live is an act of courage. https://github.com/jcubic/jquery.terminal https://www.npr.org/2018/08/16/632779706/click-if-you-dare-100-favorite-horror-stories Vacuumed, wiped down kitchen counters, watered plants, etc. https://www.thecut.com/2018/08/my-life-as-a-psychopath.html > “Broadly speaking, psychopathy refers to a pathological personality style that is interpersonally deceptive, affectively cold, behaviorally reckless, and often overtly antisocial,” he writes. To qualify, he says, a person must possess traits pertaining to each of four “domains”: Interpersonal [manipulative], Affective [lack remorse], Lifestyle [impulsive], and Antisocial [physically aggressive]. > Well, we have cognitive empathy. So if your mother died, I can look at you, I can see that you are in pain. I may not feel the same pain, but I can understand you feel pain, and that series of behaviors usually warrants a certain response: comfort or interaction, engagement. And so it’s a matter of honing that over time, and also making sure that I can continually consider that my reaction to things is not how other people experience things. Which is hard, because you sort of go through life with the assumption that everybody experiences it like you do. > “Not all psychopaths are serial killers, but all serial killers are psychopaths.” It’s just incorrect. But people hear this, and they associate [us with] serial killers. For some reason, people think we want to kill people. And I think that probably comes from the lack of empathy. People believe that if you have a lack of empathy, that automatically opens a floodgate of antisocial behavior. That’s not really how it works. I may not care, I may not have an emotional reaction to someone’s pain, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going out of my way to _cause_ pain. It just means that I don’t have that emotional response. > We don’t feel fear. We get adrenal responses. When you have adrenaline responses to a car accident, or bungee jumping, or what have you, we’ll still get that, but for us, we don’t feel the fear, which can be obviously dangerous if you’re a little kid, and you don’t know you’re supposed to be afraid of stuff. We don’t process the emotion of fear. It doesn’t occur to us. And we can’t understand it, either. I mean, we get that _you_ feel something, but we don’t get it. > People think we have no emotion, which is absolutely not true. We just feel them way turned down. If most people feel an emotion between seven and eight on a dial of ten, I feel it between zero and two. Negative emotions are background noise. We can’t tune into that frequency because our brains just don’t process enough information for them to ever be loud enough to feel or direct behavior. We enjoy things, get excited about things, like adrenaline — that’s great. I laugh with people, I enjoy intellectual discussions. A lower functioning psychopath probably wouldn’t enjoy intellectual conversation. They’d rather go and rob a liquor store. But that’s why they spend most of their lives in prison. > It’s just a variant brain structure. And actually we respond very differently to medications as well, because our chemistry is different, so you can expect strange medication reactions. I’ve been dealing with that. Whenever a doctor prescribes the medication, I can pretty well expect it to not work as intended. > I have no comprehension of why people enjoy opioids. We also can’t get addicted to things because of the way our brain works. There are psychopaths that use drugs, but you can cut them off cold turkey and they will not have any withdrawal. They don’t have any cravings, and they can just go on with their day like it was nothing. > Psychopaths use what we call a ‘mask.’ It’s basically an entire affectation of being like everyone else. We learn at a really young age that if we respond to things the way that we naturally respond to things, people don’t like that. So you just learn how to affect the behavior and how to appear like everyone else, and that’s just what you have to do. Breakfast: crackers, coffee Lunch: ice cream, pot pie Dinner: macaroni

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